Like what I've done with the place?

...

Why are people so quick to judge? 

What kind of a world is it that we live in, 

Where a good deed always has to have an ulterior motive? 

Was I naive all this time? 

Seeing the good in people, that was never there?

- Shammy 2/17/12 3:41am

Valentines Day

Treating myself to chocolatey goodness!  

Absentee

I would rather be lonely alone, than with you.

It’s the worst feeling in the world,

Having someone who isn’t really there.

- Shammy 2/11/12 1:12am 

Untitled

I wish I could take back all the nice things I said.

I wish I didn’t mean them,

But I did.

I do.

It’s different for me.

I hid you, but I gave you everything.

I gave you my whole heart.

And now it hurts,

Because you didn’t give me anything back.


- Shammy  1/31/12 11:11pm 

Asshole New Yorker- Ness

Today, while I was buying a metrocard at the atm machine a woman came up to me. She mentioned for me to buy her a metrocard and offered me a five dollar bill. “4.50, 4.50,” she said. It was first day of classes for me and I wasn’t going to risk being even a minute late. I don’t speak Spanish, I told her. “Ask the teller,” I said pointing to the fat black man sitting inside the 24 hour booth. She nodded and mentioned toward the atm machine, “He say,” pointing to the machine, “he say here.” “I’m sorry, I’m in a rush,” I told her as I finished my transaction and ran for the exit. Now I’m on a bus on my way to class. I definitely won’t be late; I might actually get there ten minutes early. She is probably still waiting in the station for someone to help her. The asshole mta worker didn’t help her, and neither did I. I didn’t know her. Not my problem, right? Funny thing is, she kind of reminded me of my mom, kinthu, ami kono patha denai. - Shammy 1/30/12 2:03pm

My Housemates

Book of Secrets

"Spirit of Womankind"

I write with the pen you gave me.

All my secrets.

My hopes

and ambitions.

The dreams I have of your face.

So dear to me, you are.

And you don't even know it.

-Shammy 1/22/12

The Dream Seller

Tell me a story.

Tell me the tale of lovers who tie bonds of passion

At the wake of midnight,

The moon as their witness.

Tell me of fairies who live in enchanted forests,

Who only leave to grant wishes.

Let me believe in magic

Tell me of a world where dragons fly in the air

Together with eagles, and robins and hummingbirds.

A world were love is real

And class status doesn't exist.

Tell me of the shapanwala’s romance with Moushumi,

The doctor's daughter.

Tell me his name.

Tell me they lived happily ever after.

Tell me of a world where the sun always comes up and greets the people

No matter how small or poor.

Tell me of a world where the birth of a girl is a gift.

Where they are cherished as humans,

Equal but different to men.

Where they aren't used for currency.


Tell me Taslima was welcomed back to her homeland.

Tell me they freed her,

From the past she never deserved,

From hate and judgment.

Tell me they forgave her for telling the truth

About bastards and their snakes.

Tell me a story filled with lies.

Take me to the dream seller,

So that I might smile again.

- Shammy 1/11/12 2:38am

Withdrawal Symptoms

• Shammy-
  
  
  Not too long ago I met a boy,
  Who wore colorful trainers
  And spoke like a leprecon.
  He left the closet door wide open every morning, 
  After taking out a plain button down shirt.
  He had one of those smiles that would light up the whole world. 
  On weekends he dressed like a proper chav
  And purposefully walked like a hoodrat,
  Always did want a g-shock. 
  He loved knives and pork;
  Even so,
  I loved him like a crack-whore loves crack. =)

  
  
  

  January 8 at 2:57am ·  ·  1
• James Lilypad-
  
  
  Not too long ago I met a leprachaun,
  At the end of a rainbow.
  But u might mistake her for a mermaid,
  'Cos she spent forever in the shower. 
  She wouldn't cut her nails after dark,
  Sit on the toilet seat,
  or walk barefoot on the ground. 
  She could make a meal last a week,
  And wasn't sure what a vegetable was.
  She wrote in a book that no one could read, 
  And sang songs that no one could hear.
  And yet,

  Her smile would light up a room,
  And her eyes could pierce your heart.
  I guess that's why I love her like a crack whore loves crack.

  
  
  

  January 8 at 1:38pm ·  ·  1

  
  

  YES! You are absolutely perfect! <3

Pretty Covers

I spy with my little eye a pretty girl.

She has the most wonderful smile,

It makes those around her want to come alive.

When she dances she makes the world stop.

They all want her.

They would go to great lengths to have her,

To be acknowledged by her.

Offering her this and that.

She smiles her most wonderful smile and declines.

What a beauty she is.

But they don’t see what I see.

They don’t see the sadness in her eyes after she laughs,

Or the guilt she feels when there's too much fun to be had.

They don’t see the tears that fall from her eyes

At night,

Alone in her bed.

They don’t see the pain in her veins,

in the dirty blood, that pumps her swollen heart.

The pain that makes her feel ugly and worthless when she looks in the mirror.

Shes coming to the edge now, but they don’t see that either.

No they wont.

She craves and craves.

The whole world loves her but she doesn’t love herself.

She doesn’t understand.

What do they see in her?

She asks herself.

A lost soul waiting on the highway of life.

Waiting.

The answers aren't in her head.

She searches and searches and searches,

But nothing!

And so she waits,

And waits still.

- Shammy 1/5/12 5:01pm

James Lilypad

I could see the soft trace of stubble on your chin.
Your nose twitching just slightly as you breathe.
You don't like your haircut, but I love the way it falls on your forehead.
You look so vulnerable,
So innocent.
I feel at  home tucked under your arm;
In the dead of the night,
My leg riding up yours.
The steady pace of your chest rising.
The warmth of your body penetrating the coldness of mine.
I want to tell you that I love you.
But I don't want to be the only one. 


- Shammy 12/15/11 11:43am 

Colour Me Grey

I didn’t hear the seagulls this morning.

I didn’t see the sun come up 

Or the sky light up.

Theres so much pain in my heart.

It's consuming my soul.

How do I get rid of it?

I don’t know how to talk to people anymore.

I want to.

I want to be okay again.

How do I do it?

It’s all in my head.

I can feel it getting bigger,

And bigger still. 

Im going to explode soon.

I feel too much.

Too many weaknesses,

I need to be stronger.

I need to be bold.

Like how I was.

- Shammy 12/8/11 

Lost-n-Found

A writer without words.
A lover without a heart.
Let me see into your soul.
Let me breathe the air you breathe.
Rule of thumb, 
Show, 
Don’t tell.
Can you do it? 


The shit that makes sense in my head.
They’d think I was crazy.
Whose to decide that? 
Besides you and me… 
What do you see?
I see nothing.
Like trying to find something that was never there.
Will you find me?


Tell me of your troubles. Write me a letter.
Send it with your lips.
I want to feel again.
Let the leaves fall around us.
The warmth from your hands makes me want to be alive once more.
I’ve come so close.
Can we try again?


I hope you never stop smiling. 
You’ll save the world one day. 


- Shammy 11/29/11

Sometimes I Find my Heart's Deepest Secrets Are in the Writings of Others..

"She was seeking herself and finding herself in just such sweet, half-darkness which met her moods. But the voices were not soothing that came to her from the darkness and the sky above and the stars. They jeered and sounded mournful notes without promise, devoid even of hope."

The Awakening, Kate Chopin

Placid Thoughts

You calm the waves inside my heart.

It feels good,

Feels comfortable,

Like home.

- Shammy 8/27/11 8:07 AM

Motivation..

"I will no longer be made to feel ashamed of existing, I will have my voice: Indian, Spanish, white. I will have my serpent's tongue - my woman's voice, my sexual voice, my poet's voice. I will overcome the tradition of silence." 
How to Tame a Wild Tongue, Gloria Anzaldua

Shammy's Photography

"The morning wind spreads its fresh smell. 

We must get up and take that in, that wind that lets us live. 

Breathe before its gone."- Rumi