James Lilypad

I could see the soft trace of stubble on your chin.
Your nose twitching just slightly as you breathe.
You don't like your haircut, but I love the way it falls on your forehead.
You look so vulnerable,
So innocent.
I feel at  home tucked under your arm;
In the dead of the night,
My leg riding up yours.
The steady pace of your chest rising.
The warmth of your body penetrating the coldness of mine.
I want to tell you that I love you.
But I don't want to be the only one. 


- Shammy 12/15/11 11:43am 

Colour Me Grey

I didn’t hear the seagulls this morning.

I didn’t see the sun come up 

Or the sky light up.

Theres so much pain in my heart.

It's consuming my soul.

How do I get rid of it?

I don’t know how to talk to people anymore.

I want to.

I want to be okay again.

How do I do it?

It’s all in my head.

I can feel it getting bigger,

And bigger still. 

Im going to explode soon.

I feel too much.

Too many weaknesses,

I need to be stronger.

I need to be bold.

Like how I was.

- Shammy 12/8/11 

Lost-n-Found

A writer without words.
A lover without a heart.
Let me see into your soul.
Let me breathe the air you breathe.
Rule of thumb, 
Show, 
Don’t tell.
Can you do it? 


The shit that makes sense in my head.
They’d think I was crazy.
Whose to decide that? 
Besides you and me… 
What do you see?
I see nothing.
Like trying to find something that was never there.
Will you find me?


Tell me of your troubles. Write me a letter.
Send it with your lips.
I want to feel again.
Let the leaves fall around us.
The warmth from your hands makes me want to be alive once more.
I’ve come so close.
Can we try again?


I hope you never stop smiling. 
You’ll save the world one day. 


- Shammy 11/29/11

Sometimes I Find my Heart's Deepest Secrets Are in the Writings of Others..

"She was seeking herself and finding herself in just such sweet, half-darkness which met her moods. But the voices were not soothing that came to her from the darkness and the sky above and the stars. They jeered and sounded mournful notes without promise, devoid even of hope."

The Awakening, Kate Chopin

Placid Thoughts

You calm the waves inside my heart.

It feels good,

Feels comfortable,

Like home.

- Shammy 8/27/11 8:07 AM

Motivation..

"I will no longer be made to feel ashamed of existing, I will have my voice: Indian, Spanish, white. I will have my serpent's tongue - my woman's voice, my sexual voice, my poet's voice. I will overcome the tradition of silence." 
How to Tame a Wild Tongue, Gloria Anzaldua

Shammy's Photography

"The morning wind spreads its fresh smell. 

We must get up and take that in, that wind that lets us live. 

Breathe before its gone."- Rumi

I havent thought of a clever title yet...

Im standing on a slippery slope, playing a nasty game.

One wrong move,

one over step,

and ill be dropped

faster than I can deny it.

That I know.

It's not conscious,

actually it probably is,

because here I am analyzing it.

I've loved you for a long time.

I've known you for even longer,

that's all I knew.

Now there is a whole world that I've never seen before.

It's interesting and colorful... I'm curious to know.

And so I follow my heart.

I venture forth into the sparking blue abyss.

I see the white clouds open up and the beam of sunlight illuminates me.

It rescues me and blinds me.

Filled with a youthful innocence I run through the endless fields.

Green seeps into my soul, touching my every nerve.

I feel too much.

I have a "philosophical aura about me."

I guess you can say that.

Thinking is my curse...My greatest weakness and

my most powerful strength.

It will lead me towards the tips of the Himalayas,

only to fall.

The waters will soon turn murky,

and there will be a choice to be made.

There will be a tipping of the scales.

One will lose and one will gain,

but at what cost?

For that I fear, because the choice is already made.

- Shammy 10/27/10 12:35pm

Bangladesh'r Bristi

It feels as if the gray clouds are going to fall down on us at any moment.

Peaceful this Bangladesh'r bristi makes me, 

Contemplating where life is going to take me next.

You know I've loved you since day one.

Two thousand seven days later,

I don't remember what I loved you for.

I must've been a different person then, 

Just as you are

Changed.

Every day I see you and this arrangement of ours seems stranger and stranger.

It is a foreign thing to me now.

I'm not angry, nor regretful.

I'm just lost in these heavy clouds with my never ending delusions.

- Shammy 8/22/10 8:44pm

Poem in your Pocket